The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, making love brings enormous significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to extremely tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, wellness, and nearness .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that numerous of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in metropolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if site the sex isn't going to be good?".

However, North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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