The Sex Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, making love carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to exceptionally difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in effective feelings of attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, states that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in urbane locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sexual activity. Many gay males wish to discover out from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your click this time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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